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A Horse Is A Horse (of course)

Steven Barnes
5 min readSep 27, 2019

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https://www.treehugger.com/animals/ptsd-scores-plummet-veterans-who-try-therapeutic-horseback-riding.html?fbclid=IwAR20kkXgh5u_CGPmd3V_a_wnGj0HvLaBQyTTeN87EpBHCL2oO0q2EHUKaUo

I remember when a top coach in the physical arena (“Tad”) came to me and said his mother needed help. She had been through serious physical therapy for multiple issues, and her capacities were much diminished. But…were she to address her physical therapy with energy and enthusiasm, the doctors felt she could get it all back. The problem was that she had lost faith in herself. No longer felt like she had anything to offer the world, and that her best years were behind her.

It was a considerable challenge. My friend was worried for his Mom, who had been a major positive influence in his life. The fact is that “Tad” and I hadn’t been close for a while, but I still cared about him, and he obviously still trusted me. My first telephone conversation with his Mom would have been depressing if I allowed myself such doubt. How could I help her? At a distance? On the phone…?

Digging into her past, I was looking for some positive emotions. SOMEWHERE. Well…there were memories of baby Tad that were positive but I needed more. Needed to break her out of her cocoon of “Mom identity.” That can be rough, because good parents often define themselves as “Mom” or “Dad” to the point that when the kids leave home, they feel empty. Deeper.

Her voice was a fairly flat affect, but I noticed a few tiny threads of emotion, connected…

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Steven Barnes
Steven Barnes

Written by Steven Barnes

Steven Barnes is a NY Times bestselling author, ecstatic husband and father, and holder of black belts in three martial arts. www.lifewritingpodcast.com.

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