Are You An Adult?

Steven Barnes
2 min readDec 5, 2022

It isn’t as silly a question as it sounds. Just for fun, look at the question of maturity in the animal kingdom:

  1. Adult animals can hunt or gather to provide food and shelter
  2. They can fight, run, or hide — they have the ability to repel predators, or evade them.
  3. They can mate and reproduce. (Note: they can certainly choose not to. But being healthy and stable enough that you COULD is always desirable)

That seems simple. What are the human equivalents?

  1. Adults must produce the resources necessary to survive in the adult world. Money.
  2. Adults must care for their physical and mental/emotional health, as well as contribute, in taxes, funds to provide protection. Diet, exercise, rest, mental health.
  3. They create happy, healthy, lasting love relationships.

In other words, they have expertise in the domains of body, heart, and head. How can you learn these things, if you don’t have them?

  1. Take responsibility. Admit that you desire health, success, and love.
  2. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. If you don’t currently have those skills, believe you can and will acquire them.
  3. Study Role Models. Find people who are successful in business, especially those who are enjoying the journey. Find healthy fit people over fifty and find out what they are doing. Find grandparents who are still married and in love.
  4. Commit to MASTERY. This is your life. If you have any doubts about your right to want not just expertise but MASTERY in life, ask yourself one simple question: “how long am I going to be dead?” And armed with the answer to that, go out and have the most magnificent, wonderful, passionate life possible.

I would suggest that you commit to:

A healthy, dynamic body in the top 20% of your age group.

A thriving career providing wonderful goods and services to a thankful community…

A loving marriage or relationship, filled with passion, fun, and mutual support…

Why should you settle for less? The answer is simple: you shouldn’t. The truth is that the difference will be in your DAILY HABITS. What do you do, especially with the first hour of the day, EVERY DAY.

I also like integrating the “Five Minute Miracle” — five sixty second breathing breaks, distributed through the day. You can also add mental focus and emotional “flooding” to this, to remind yourself who and what you are, what you are committed to, and the way you must manifest in the world to be true to your intentions.

Most people don’t think about their goals more than once a week. What do YOU think would happen if you focused yourself every morning, let alone five times a day!

As this year draws to a close, it is a perfect opportunity to commit to being an awake, aware, ADULT human being. I think there is nothing more important in life.


Steven Barnes



Steven Barnes

Steven Barnes is a NY Times bestselling author, ecstatic husband and father, and holder of black belts in three martial arts.