Betrayed By Their Favorite Shows!
I love teaching, but it can be frustrating. My UCLA writing classes were popular, but I noticed the same problems cropping up semester after semester, and one of the most consistent was “I don’t have time.”
This always annoyed me, because I looked at those eager faces, listened to their stories, was often thrilled by their originality and passion, envious of their wordplay and grateful for the chance to share with such active, sharp minds.
But…so often it seemed to me that they ham-strung themselves. Let their fears override their capacities. Believed in their limitations more than their potential. And sometimes, when I taught them, I could remember the clawing voices in my own mind, the doubts and fears searching for a way to avoid responsibility for my own fate. The battle had been terrible. Society, friend, mother…all had told me I couldn’t do it. Shouldn’t dream it. That I didn’t have the ability, or the potential, or the opportunity, or the connections…
Or the time.
And only the feeling that I would rather die than fail had kept me going forward. It had been dreadful, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. And asked myself: what do I wish someone had said to me? What is the piece of my own past I could give them that would help the most? If I saw myself in their eyes, and realized that I just COULDN’T let them down…what would I do?”
I needed to show them that they had a chance to reach their dreams, that their current barriers were in their minds more than in their lives. Something…
The time.
I laid awake that night, thinking that over. And finally, just before I fell asleep, I had it.
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The next day in class, I started by talking about a television show I’d watched a couple of days earlier. We discussed plot and structure and just the sheer fun of it. The energy in the class was great! We chatted about favorite shows, and I went through the entire class and got them all to talk about what they’d watched in the last couple of weeks. Everyone contributed.
And then I dropped the bomb. “EVERYONE in this class has watched television in the last two weeks. That means that there isn’t a single person in this room who doesn’t have time to write.”
I watched their faces as they tried to deny it. And one of them feebly said “but…it was just an hour. I need more time than that to warm up to write.”
“All you have to do,” I said, “Is write a single sentence a day. Just that much, and you are on your way.” I laid it out to them the how and why, the “who” of the great writers I’d studied or begged for wisdom, opened my heart to them.
One sentence. Just one sentence. And pled with them to believe in themselves. But…how could just a sentence a day make any difference? How to overcome the fear that stops them from sitting down…
How to overcome it? First, ADMIT THAT THAT’S THE PROBLEM. Stop lying about “no time.” Why? Because now you can actually address the real issue, the real problem.
I am afraid to write. I am afraid I have no ideas. Or that no one will want to read what I’ve written. That rejection will break me. That people will laugh…it is better to have an unfulfilled dream than to discover that that dream was always a fantasy…
And now, finally, we were having the real conversation. We have dreams. And our fears strangled them in the crib, before they are strong enough to fight for themselves. I poured my heart out, spoke of my own struggles and doubts and demons. And…we connected. I got them to trust me enough to commit to a single sentence. Just one, every day.
That was the first time I taught that notion. And it has made all the difference in the world. If you have the drive to do ANYTHING, just break down the “musts” into something so small that fear cannot disguise itself as “practicality.”
Make it come out into the light. Be able to say “Fear is here, once again.” And see the thing itself without judgement or shame. The fear is trying to protect you. Don’t deny it, instead give it the resources it needs to enable rather than cripple you. Viewed honestly and without guilt, fear is your friend.
But you must be honest. And then…study people who accomplished your goals, starting from where you are. And learn how they dealt with their emotions. Have faith that within you is the ability to be genuinely happy and healthy and a leader who can help others.
One step at a time.
One sentence a day.
Namaste
Steve
(if you’d like to know more about the “sentence a day to a book a year” system, watch the FREE video I have for you at www.lifewritingsentence.com)