Courage in the Face of Fear

So there are many things we cannot speak of in connection with OUR Twilight Zone episode just filmed in Canada. We can’t talk about the plot, or the title, but I see no reason not to discuss some of the internal processes involved in creating it, or even moving into POSITION to have the opportunity.

There is work, there is hoped-for outcome. There are emotional and career results. Lots of stuff. Today, I wanted to speak of the emotions involved.

This is part of the writing process that I very rarely hear people discuss. The emotions have to be stronger than the resistance. That means that, while keeping my eyes on the goal, I have to take daily actions even if the demons are screaming in my head.

Which demons? Well, there are always the standard ones: you’re not good enough. You’ve lost it. You never had it. Past successes were flukes. You’re black, pitching to rooms filled with white men who will say “no” at the slightest whiff of conflict. The same people who paint us as threats or sexless clowns who die for their entertainment.

Add to those some new ones, connected to the twenty years I had to take out of my Hollywood career to care for family: ten years in the NW were a big one. Came back to Cali and my agent had retired, with the charming information that in the time I’d been gone, the Hollywood model had changed and that freelancers no longer got scripts. Everything was done by Staff, and they didn’t hire anyone over forty.