Crossing the Abyss
So let’s take a deep breath. So far, we’ve committed to writing a sentence a day, and after that to writing 1–4 stories a month. And when I say that, there is a chance that you’re having an emotional reaction.
I know I would! So…let’s say you react like a lady who was in the audience when I recorded this talk.
Student”.: I was talking to someone in my writing group about what I was feeling, and I said fear. And he said, what are you afraid of? I said, I’m afraid of success.
Steve: Okay, so, let’s look at a fear of success. What happens that is negative if you succeed?
Student: Well, you havethe potential to be judged, criticized for a lousy story
Steve: But that’s not success.
Student: So, but it means I’m not afraid of rejection-
Steve: You’re not afraid of rejection?
Student: No-
Steve: Fine. So what are you afraid of?
Student: Of actually being good at it.
Steve: Why is that scary?
Student: I don’t know.
Steve: Okay, let me tell you what triggers fear. Fear happens when there is a gap between your self image and your dreams, or your self image and your circumstances. So your self image does not include being a successful writer. Until you change that, it’s always going to be friction for you. That’s why I started out by saying, your identity needs to be, this is who I am.
Student: That’s what I am now.
Steve: That’s right.
Student B: How do I do that?
Steve: By declaration. First came the word if you can’t say it, you can’t be it.
Student: Ever since elementary school, I’d been a writer.
Steve: There you go! Look, writing has several major chunks. One is inspiration, creativity. All creativity is, is being open to the river of insanity that runs through everybody’s mind, every night when you dream. That’s how it is, you just camp out next to that river, haul up the fish, and cook them. I mean, the problem is that people kill their ideas in the crib, when they’re just minnows. You don’t develop the ideas enough for them to grow teeth and be able to protect themselves. Because all ideas can be squashed when they’re in that form.
So once you’ve tapped into that stream, if you say to yourself, “I’m going to write a short story a week.” And you hear another voice saying “Well, I don’t have much time.” You can answer: “That’s okay. A short story could be one page long. It really could.” Think you can write one page a month? Yeah, I knew you could.
So you say: I’m going to buy a couple of collections of short-short stories. Flash fiction. And I’m going to read one of those every day. And then I’m going to write a piece of flash fiction, once a week. At the very least, once a month. You cut the amount that you need to do down until it is so small, that you cannot lie to yourself that you don’t have the time. Now, perhaps for the first time, you’re actually dealing with who you are and what’s going on. Now, you can talk to your therapist, or your friends, or your writing group or whatever, and actually deal with what’s happening inside you, and not be afraid that you’re broken or twisted or incapable. The fear doesn’t mean any of those things. It just means you’re a human being going through this stuff. And the very fear you feel, once you tap into it, is the creativity you need to drive your career.
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So…
Step #3 FINISH WHAT YOU WRITE, AND SUBMIT IT.
You finish these stories and you put them in the mail. And you keep them in the mail until they sell, or you send them out through email or whatever it is you’re going to do, but you don’t write it and keep it in your desk. You actually have to start getting used to what, in Chinese refer to as, thick face black heart. Having the armor around your heart to protect yourself, so that you will take the chances necessary to get better. I know so many people, they will write, and write, and write, but they won’t submit anything, and then they’ll lie about the fact that they wanted to publish.
Editor and Writer John Ordover said the following about this concept:
“Short stories have more than one market, now-a-days many. So the moment your story is rejected, submit it somewhere else. My best story to date, picked up for a number of collections, sold to the 7th place I submitted it. :).
“I kept a stack of pre-stamped envelopes around. Whenever I finished a story, or got one back in the mail, it went right back out. A story wasn’t “retired” until it had been everywhere.”
He also kept a spread-sheet of where each story had been, that I checked off. When the markets were essentially equivalent in terms of pay, prestige, and appropriateness for the markets, I would start them off in different markets, so as not to flood one market every ten days. With this approach, it took me 25 stories to sell my first one.”
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What John says is just so basic, like a salesman knowing he has to knock on X number of doors to get one open, and talk to Y number of householders to sell one vacuum cleaner. Its just so sad when writers don’t apply this notion to publishing.
It’s just so sad, because they could have been writers. They’ll never share their dreams because they let the fear stop them. But the same thing is true, with people who are lonely and afraid to get into the dating market, with people who are afraid to lose weight, because they’re afraid something bad could happen to them if they do, with people who are afraid to succeed financially, because they’re afraid that if they do people are just going to take their money from them.
You know, if that fear actually protected you from pain I guess I wouldn’t badger you. But the fact, the truth, is that you cannot live a small enough life that death won’t notice you. You can’t.
No matter what you do, you’re going to die. Hopefully after getting very old. Getting old and dying is the good news. That’s the prize. But one way or the other, we all check out.
So the question you have to ask yourself is, given the fact that death is 100% certain, what is worth trading your life for? What is it that you’re going to trade in exchange for the precious days of your life? Whenever someone asks yourself, or someone asks you, if you’re dreaming too big, if you want too much, ask yourself one simple question
HOW LONG AM I GOING TO BE DEAD?
And armed with the answer to that question, will you please go out and live a life of joy? Will you please go and do the thing that makes you happy?
The Dalai Lama said, “The meaning of life is to seek joy”. That is the clearest statement of this slippery concept that I can think of. It works. What’s going to make you happy? What do you want long term? Looking back over your life from your deathbed. what do you want to have done? Now, it’s not always easy, to be honest with you, I’ve accomplished everything I set out to do as a kid. I got it all. The career, the love of jmy life, the black belts. And now, I’m creating a completely new set of goals. I have a goal that I want … because after a certain point, you can’t improve anymore by improving yourself. You have to improve yourself by helping other people.
So I have this goal of helping one million people become awake, aware, adult human beings. That is my goal at this point in my life. That’s what I want. And that’s the only way I can pay back the teachers that I’ve had. I’ve been the recipient of fantastic, wonderful men and women’s trust. And it’s the only way I can give them honor. So, I can’t stop myself. I have to keep going, I have to put myself out there where I can get criticized. I have to get stomped, bloodied, knocked down. I’m a fighter. That’s who I am, and that’s a metaphor that I use, and your metaphor might be working in a garden, it might be playing with birds, it could be anything, as long as it contains the cycle of actions that you need.
For me, one of those things is very, very much fighting for the things that I believe in, fighting against my own demons. As a martial artist, that makes sense to me. So, those three black belts that I’ve got, are useful in dealing with fitness, with my writing, they’re useful in dealing with my family, because these things interact with each other. So by taking the writing that you’re doing, and forcing yourself to stand naked before the world, let me tell you something: In the arena of writing, there is no compliment like a check that clears the bank. I’m telling you, that is a pat on the back. And when it comes from somebody who’s a professional, who’s betting their mortgage on you, THAT is a thrill.
Every week I get an email from someone asking: Mr. Barnes, how do I publish a book? How do I do this? You know, the process of sending your stories out will teach you every basic thing you need to know about the industry, including the fact that once you’ve sold a few stories to an editor, editors, especially in New York, they know the agents. They know the people who are buying books, and you’re now their friend. They bought stories from you. Editors are dying to discover new people. That’s why they do it. They love it when they dig through the slush pile, they find somebody who they’ve never heard before, who has a new voice, a new perspective.
And they say, wow, this is unique. I’ll pay them two cents a word, five cents a word, whatever it is that they’re paying. That person becomes your ally, and from being all the way on the outside of the industry, to getting all the way inside, is the most important thing you can do.
The gap between, never having been published, and publishing your first story for money, is vastly larger than the gap between selling a single story and publishing a book.
It really is, there’s no comparison. Once you’ve stepped across that line, you’ve gotten paid for it, you are in such a rarefied atmosphere. Okay, so, publish, complete your work, send it in for publication. That’s the third step.
Okay. Now, here’s something that’s important. I said write a book a year, with a sentence a day. I meant that. Probably won’t be your first year though, it might not be your second year. But you know something, if each story is 5000 words, and you sell 10 short stories, that’s 50,000 words of writing, you’re ready to go for a novella now.
Write 20 stories at 5000 words, and now you’re ready to write a hundred thousand word novel. In other words, you are ready to move up, if you have published, in aggregate, the number of words of the project size you want to attempt.
Do people do other things? Of course they do. I’m telling you a route that works, that has worked for everybody that’s ever tried it. There are going to be other paths, of course there are. And you are all adults, and you’re going to do what it is that you want to do. All I’m doing is pleading with you, give yourselves a chance. If writing is what you really want, if this is the thing that drives you, this is the fire that burns you, give yourself the chance. Don’t go for something that is massively sprawling, and then when it doesn’t sell you think, “well, I guess I couldn’t have made it anyway.” That’s very much like going into a martial arts school, and on the first day saying, I want to spar with the black belt. You get killed. It doesn’t mean you couldn’t have been a black belt. It doesn’t mean you couldn’t have gotten it. You never gave yourself a chance. You’re caterpillars, give yourself chances to become butterflies.
It’ll happen, it does. One step at a time.
Namaste
Steve