Dealing With Bullies

I saw a post on bullying, bullet points dealing with the folly of thinking communication is useful in dealing with them, blaming everything on an abusive home life, and so forth. Ass someone bullied through his childhood, I thought I’d address some of the points:

1. Sure, communication works: but what are you communicating? And what is your vehicle of communication? All you have to communicate is; ‘you will experience more pain if you mess with me than if you leave me alone.’ That’s it. All animals will avoid pain and move toward pleasure if they believe in the threat/promise. HOW you communicate that has infinite possibilities.
2. Kindness is not always the most effective/efficient tool. In fact, some interpret kindness as weakness. This is why you must START with your absolute belief in your right to safety and autonomy, and your capacity to solve problems. Best starting place: ASK others who have dealt with bullies in the past. What worked for them, what failed? By the time you’ve talked to a hundred people who dealt SUCCESSFULLY, you’ll have a different perspective, and probably some fine ideas.
3. Not every bully is created by environment. A small percentage are just flat predators. But IMO in most case, if you had the time and skill you could unravel the knot in their heart. Sadly, we rarely have that opportunity or those resources, and must simply deal with the behavior.
4. You have no obligation to allow anyone to hurt you in any way, no matter how much compassion you have for them. In truth, letting…