Does Your Mate Say: “Ugh. Is that the best I could do?”

The Lifewriting approach to relationships is called the “Soulmate Process” and that requires definitions. For the sake of our discussion, a “Soulmate” is a person who, when you meet them you feel the kind of connection that opens the door to your future. You can see and experience the potential of a life together, and it is like meeting the other half of yourself.

How common are Soulmates? I’d be cautious in estimating, but if I consider that two people who have been married long enough to have grandchildren, who still love each other and treasure the path they have walked together. Maybe…25% of marriages last 30 years? And half of those are happier than average. Let’s say 10%. Or even 5% of these marriages are plausibly “Soulmate” journeys.

Now then…how many people did the average one of these marriages date before finding THE ONE? Well…the average number of relationships before marriage is 3 to 5. The average number of dates? I couldn’t find that info in a quick search, but I did come across the stat that the average woman will kiss 15 men before marriage, and the average man have six one-night stands.

Somewhere in there is the data, but without formally crunching I’ll guess the following: the average person is just one degree of separation from someone they could love all their life. SOMEONE you know knows SOMEONE who could be THE ONE. Maybe I’m wrong, and that’s TWO degrees of separation. But frankly, I like those odds a lot.