Dragging Down The Lifeguard

BREATHE!

There is nothing sadder than someone trapped in their pain, striking out desperately at anyone who tries to tell them they have love within them, or that the possibility of healing exists in every decision they make. Watching them fight with their pain is like watching a drowning swimmer clawing at the lifeguard.

Some will call this “victim blaming.” They want you to get down in the water and drown with them. No, thank you. I’ll keep my feet on the dock, and throw out life preservers. Point out the direction of the shore. Teach swim classes so that they’ll be safer in the water.

When people are desperately unhappy, have lost all belief in self or the universe, none of this is enough. Only joining their pity and anger parties is “proof” of your caring.

They were taught, at some point in their lives, that they have no right to joy. That their happiness is dependent upon other people. That they are not divine. Sometimes they were given these rules by parents now dead, and to reject those rules means rejecting their only source of love, their only memories of connection. They cannot take the step of believing the love they seek, the security and connection they seek, is within them. Just can’t let go of the toxic trapeze they’re holding on to, and swing to the next.

No…FAITH.

I think that all you can do is love them, and hold the space of possibility. If you can connect to a source of love larger than yourself, you can conduct…