Steven Barnes
5 min readJun 7, 2024


I will tell you what I assume, but first “why.” I have read interviews with, and talked to countless high-performing people with ADHD. I believe that a person with sufficient motivation will find a way.

So I’m offering Jason a cornucopia of options, keeping him focused on what he DESIRES, and help him develop the FAITH that he can have it. Provide a role model of health, love, and success: he KNOWS its possible. Given those things, I cannot allow myself to doubt that he will find a way, if we offer him dozens of options.

When I noticed that he wouldn’t admit to having real DESIRES connected to his adult life, I knew he lacked the FAITH to believe he could have them. So we’ve provided him with role models of possibility, given him chances to win at physical, emotional, and intellectual games, and taught him a path to managing his emotions — the “changes”, what NLP calls “swish patterns”, one of the anchors of the Morning Ritual.

We had him raise his fists in a “V for Victory” as he chose three of Burchard’s High Performance Six principles: “All the X I need is within me now” regarding Clarity, Energy, Urgency, Productivity, Influence and Courage. This is POWERFUL, learning to shift into a power state ON DEMAND.

I’ve not been able to get him to do a full “Morning Ritual” but COULD induce him to meet daily, during which I could clarify his short and long term goals, and teach him ways of multiplying force and focus to achieve them. Remember: he has all the “focus” he needs IF HE IS INTERESTED. I could tell that simply watching him play video games. When the Pandemic started, I chose it as an opportunity to simplify his life so that I could DAILY reinforce positive and negative motivations (withdrawal of approval and cutting off his internet worked GREAT in concert), while EVERY DAMNED DAY teaching him the success principles that have created my life.

Things have really accelerated since we moved to the new house. And one of the changes is his attraction to Stoicism, an ancient means of increasing human effectiveness and efficiency, putting action, emotion and thought into proper positions.

Excellent. But as said, something happened in the last few days that caught our attention:

For the very first time, he has expressed interest in a life path we can actually help him walk: acting. And video/audio tech things. That means Hollywood, where we are burrowing in (consider that this increases OUR motivations to succeed: more resources for Jason!)

Now then…This week we’ve also had an ISOMAX weight training machine, which measures pressure output in a way no other device in the world does, offering some unique training potential (Bruce Lee’s muscular density was probably due to his use of Isometrics), including convenience (the entire apparatus weighs only 14 pounds). He has REALLY gotten into it.

And…yesterday during his meeting he was totally present, laughing, happy, making plans to cut his hair and take new pictures for us to send to Central Casting and…other opportunities. Ahem.

At the end of the session, when it was time to do “changes”, instead of the “V for Victory” he said he wanted to use the IsoMax. So he set it up for a deadlift, and while pulling over 350 lbs of resistance chanted “All the clarity I need is within me now! All the Energy I need is within me now! All the Productivity I need is within me now!”

I was gobsmacked. He was INTO IT. I mean, this was the first time I’d seen him crawl all the way “inside” the technique, which is step #3 of “Think And Grow Rich”: Auto-suggestion.

IF he has the desire, and a clear goal…

AND he has faith, internal alignment through Auto-suggestion

THEN he can sinking into RESEARCH (Mom and Dad will help with this)

And generate IDEAS about how to succeed as an extra, possibly leading to acting

Create ORGANIZED PLANS of how to proceed

COMMIT to his path (say… the PERSISTENCE to have 100 interviews before he allows any negative thought about results)

And trust us to be his MASTER-MIND, totally aligned. (Hell, if he is working, I’d not mind him taking his college classes asynchronously via computer. Why not?)

And yeah…connect that 20 year old’s seething sex drive to his desire to hunt and gather and build a nest, the most important requirement to attract a woman with self-respect and her own power and beauty.

THIS IS A HIGHER LEVEL OF THE GAME. He has, finally, taken a step into MY territory. This is Big Boy stuff now, and as long as he maintains his DESIRE and FAITH, the rest is calculated ACTION and a numbers game.

Model the people who have succeeded

Take effective ACTION over a long enough period to calibrate results

Maintain GRATITUDE for all his blessings.

Clarify his INTENTIONS

And believe that whatever he can conceive and believe, he can achieve. That the desire itself contains within it the seed of success.

Wow. A lot there. But I’ve promised I’d lay as clear a path as possible. When Jason succeeds (and I will not allow myself doubt about this) you will have had an over-the-shoulder view of everything we used to facilitate this. And hopefully, that will inspire YOU to believe in yourself, in a way that ends suffering, embraces joy, and offers service to the world.




Steven Barnes is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.

Topic: Firedance Tai Chi

Time: Jun 8, 2024 12:00 PM Pacific Time (US and Canada)

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Steven Barnes

Steven Barnes is a NY Times bestselling author, ecstatic husband and father, and holder of black belts in three martial arts.