Helping a boy become a Man

I think Jason might be past the “zero point.” It is a concept I can use to explain something. As long as you are stuck, and act only when there is potential pain, you are on the negative side of the number line. Someone trying to motivate you has to put MORE pain on that side. Say you have a phobia for public speaking, but need to present a paper in front of your class to pass.

From this perspective, you would need to magnify the pain of failing until it is higher than the fear of speaking. Visualize yourself becoming broke and homeless, losing your relationships, and so forth. When the pain gets high enough, you’ll give the talk.

Healthier of course would be to have the pain (“I must”) AND a potential reward on the other side. If you give the talk, you’ll get 100 dollars. Or a date with the prettiest girl in the class. When the “Yum” factor of the reward combines with the “ouch” factor of the fear, again you get enough motivation to overcome the inertia.

But what you REALLY want is to find the part of you that will ENJOY the talk. That looks forward to the challenge. Sees it as a way to grow, contribute, or whatever. Then you might feel the fear, but the voices that accompany it won’t be saying “I can’t” but rather something like “here is the energy I need to excel. Let me untie this knot and access it.”

When you are motivated by pain, you are in the negative. A healthy person balances at the “zero” point between pain and pleasure. And a blessed, aware person has integrated to the point…