Helping Others, Helping Ourselves

Steven Barnes
8 min readSep 25, 2020

BREATHE!!

I woke up this morning almost afraid to hear what was going on around me in the house. The last week Jason has been so close to “perfect” that I am on guard. EVERYTHING IS WORKING. I’ll go into it more, but I am assuming that the program I’m using right now, connecting the Hero’s Journey, Chakras, Three Gates, Three Energy Centers and “Human Needs Technology” has crossed some critical threshold. If I’m right, all I have to do is be at least one energetic level ABOVE whatever we want for J and all will be well.

It’s on my shoulders. And that’s fine.

And just maybe I can see the structure of a book on child rearing,connected with this, and wanted to try out an overview. One thing that has been important is that WHAT I’M DOING FOR JASON IS ALWAYS CONNECTED WITH MY OWN GROWTH. He is part of a system. If the rest of the system doesn’t change, but I ask HIM to change, I’m being dishonest.

Get that? ITS ON ME. The same thing will be true in relationships, or leadership. ITS NOT ABOUT “THEM”. IT’S ABOUT YOU.

So…in essence, I’m using my love and commitment to Jason to motivate me to be a better human being. Win-Win. But what exactly does that mean?

Time for another core dump. And…I’ll use the Chakras as an organizing structure. It is the deepest, wisest, most complete model of the human body-mind I’ve ever encountered. It also maps over with Milton Erickson, Maslow, and Kabbalah as well as Egyptian yoga and many ideas from Buddhism and Sufism. I’m gonna trust it.

So here are the pieces you need to look at. They all work together, and in fact getting better at ANY of them for yourself will strengthen all of them, and learning to work them for yourself improves your capacity to help others ENORMOUSLY. These correspond to the Chakras:

  1. SURVIVAL NEEDS AND EGO
  2. CONNECTION AND DESIRE
  3. POWER FLOW
  4. LOVE AND FEAR
  5. LEARNING AND TEACHING
  6. VISION OF THE FUTURE
  7. SPIRITUAL ASPIRATION

Each of these is a year’s study in itself (SIGH!) but let’s cut through that by applying it to the request a reader made of me this morning. Let’s take it apart a bit at a time, with comments. NOTE: I do not know this person, so I cannot have any deep sense of certainty about the reportage or analysis. But let’s assume…

--

--

Steven Barnes

Steven Barnes is a NY Times bestselling author, ecstatic husband and father, and holder of black belts in three martial arts. www.lifewritingpodcast.com.