Leaving the Incel Path

I never know what I’m going to write about when I wake up…just look for a post or comment that triggers a chain of thought, and speak about it as if someone asked me what I thought.

A recent post from a man leaving a cult, whose “flirty” behavior with women was inappropriate, insulting, and of course ineffective caught my attention. His words got me thinking: both about the point of origin (WHY is this person on the InCel path, and what do they need to do to correct trajectory?)

It seems this person is fighting their own nature as a human animal, a divine spirit, and a loving being. His misjudging of response should have been worked out in his teen years, or even before. All he had to do was pay attention to the responses to his communications, and he’d have been able to calibrate his “flirtatious” responses to get the reactions he wanted.

And here is where we can back and ask: What did he really want?

Easy peasy. He wanted to be happy. He wanted joy.

Specifically, he wanted a powerful sexual-romantic connection to a woman. And flubbed it. Took actions that left him in another place, filled with guilt and shame.

But wait…did the responses “make” him feel those emotions? I submit to you that no, they didn’t CREATE those emotions, they RELEASED those emotions. That we’re looking at someone who is/was FILLED with guilt, blame and shame. That his attitudes toward his own sexuality are probably twisted and stunted, his connection to his own feminine…