Manila Dreams #9
(this is the ninth entry in my personal journal about my recent trip to the Philippines. Not all of these are being offered publicly)
Manila Dreams #9
I always wanted to practice Asian martial arts in Asia. I thought it would be karate in Japan. Then I thought it would be Tai Chi in the Chin village. It turned out to be Kali in the provinces of Manila. And I can clearly feel one difference between MA in America and in its lands of origin.
In America, the MA are oddities, specialized hobbies, cloves stuck into a ham. Valuable, but there’s a bit of “why do that? Other tools are more efficient/effective. This is sport.”
But in the Philippines, you have arts that have been CRITICAL to survival within living memory, back through the Japanese occupation through the American occupation through the Spanish occupation, and tribal warfare and personal honor, stretching back four thousand years.
That’s not “cloves.” That’s the BONE on which the meat grew. It may have been almost forgotten (and experiencing a resurgence) but it is anchored in personal survival, protection of nest and society, expression of culture. It is SOLID, not something grafted on. Boxing is kinda like that in inner cities of America, and you can feel it when you walk in the building. You can SMELL it. The sweat is different. This isn’t a game.
What I experienced was so real that they HAD to be playful about much of it. The reality is too stark not to laugh and smile and enjoy each other, because our lives are in each others’ hands.
I remember teaching karate to some bratty kids and warning them: “if you don’t stop, I’m going to teach you techniques that don’t work.”
THAT shut ’em up pretty fast. IN this context, we are agreeing to risk physical injury to learn something precious. It wouldn’t take more than a moment’s loss of focus or ill intent to put out an eye. It really wouldn’t. We were, for that time, and the time we commit to that path, FAMILY. I have indeed experienced this before, but 99% of the time its laid atop a sense of “this is something we practice for slightly abstract reasons.”
When its concrete, historical, cultural, when you have the sense that your instructors have had to step into that life and death arena, for survival or honor…IT IS DIFFERENT. I could feel it. And it connected with the part of me that yearned for the protection and love of a father, that understood women being attracted to power and taking responsibility for gaining the capacity to act in the world in expression of my deepest truth, no matter what I am threatened with: violence or exclusion from men, withdrawal of affection and approval from women — however it manifests, you have to be able to stand and say “this is who I am.”
Just being willing to fight to the death for your values, your heart, your dreams, your family, is enough. You do NOT have to be able to win, but you HAVE to find that “I’m ready to die, and I’m ready to take you with me”, that thing I found spontaneously all those years ago, about 14 years old, when I stepped into the street and invited the bullies to follow me.
I was THERE at that moment, and they knew it, and backed down. Everything else in my martial journey has been about finding that. It is accessible simply by gaining clarity on what you are willing to die for. Then, you have to keep that flame alive…and seek joy, community, partnership, passion. Service. To live fully and deeply, knowing 100% that that lion or lioness is within you, always. And that you are safe, as safe as any living thing can be, and given that safety, you can open your heart to love and caring. That’s all any of us really want, you know.
So…seeing these beautiful people and their lethal art, the deep hospitality and joy, spirituality and intelligence, and being invited to join the dance…
For me, this was not available in the U.S. Not to me. I had to step outside our culture and history to find it. Then, look at the wordless wisdom encoded in every movement, every breath. IF there are two questions: “Who am I?” and “What is true?” and you ask them as you deepen your understanding of ANYTHING that you do…then any life activity becomes a path of awakening, of knowledge, of wisdom. “Know one thing, know ten thousand things” Musashi said.
And the martial sciences, the real things, the things that can end life in an instant, are so close to the truth that if you engage fully, you get to glimpse that truth, from the corner of your eye.
I found it in humbling myself and asking for help.
I found it in helping others when my understanding exceeded theirs.
I was part of a chain of knowledge, survival, and joy stretching back thousands of years, guests in the homes of people who were colonized but not enslaved, who had intimate knowledge of their culture, language, spiritual aspects, history, land and more. THIS IS DIFFERENT.
And thank God, I had eyes to see, a heart to feel, and a body strong enough to take a real, no bullshit risk to snatch that meat from the jaws of the lion.
EVERYTHING in my life had to align to get me there. I knew there was something powerful, something I could not get here (not that others cannot, but if I didn’t “get it” in a half-century of searching, it is unreasonable for me to assume that I ever would without some drastic change). And while I’m still unpacking the events and understandings….
I’m in a new cycle of my life. Honestly cannot tell you what will be on the other side. Just that another cycle of the Hero’s Journey was completed. The student may not have become the teacher, but I have definitely returned to the village with the elixir.
I will continue to report back. Wow, the territory is intense.
Namaste
Steve
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