Missive From the Ivory Tower

I’m just going over the persuasion framework, as I understand it in reference to the Chakras. The most common complaint I hear in communication is: “I cannot convince those idiots to do X” so it is useful for me to go over what DOES seem to work to change people, from argumentation to sales to therapy.

#1 was “Understand their basic world”

#2 is connect with them. Your humanity to theirs. This rapport is essential, and cannot be faked. If they can feel your love and respect, they are hugely more likely to listen to what you have to say. NO ONE will accept a point of view or change their behavior it that change increases pain, and only someone you trust can be trusted to keep your interests in mind. Once you have that connection, you have a tiny bit of leverage: they will at least listen. But in that conversation, do NOT try to change their mind. Use it for an opportunity to dive deeper, ask questions. What motivates them? What do they REALLY want? How does their behavior satisfy basic needs, and the most basic will be survival, sex (genetic survival) or power (often connected to tribal survival).

For instance, a person complains about their job. All conversation about what they might do to improve their situation fails. Suggestions that they leave the job go no where.

This person is driven by fear. Fear of losing their job prevents them from hard-ball negotiation: they are terrified of “walking away.” But if you ask them how long it might take to find a new job, the fact that millions…