Parenting: The Power of Kindness

If our job as parents is to give my child “Life 101” lessons, helping them to adulthood, it becomes critical to define that state as clearly as possible. I want more: what I call “awakened adulthood” — not “merely” in control of your actions and emotions, taking responsibility for your actions and decisions, but constantly asking the “who am I?” and “what is true?” questions that lead us to extraordinary lives.

So the task is to find the smallest number of instructions that lead there. I’ve chosen five of these maps for my children to focus on, and the first of them is the Three Gates. They certainly touch on external worldly success (“what is useful?”) but more importantly to me, they open the door to being a good, decent, awakened human being.

Why? Because love and connection are the core realities of existence, and the rest is illusion. Following “Truth” deeply enough will take you there, but more immediately “Kindness” is a direct route to a life of joy…IF AND ONLY IF you first trigger your core survival drives. This “truth”: that we have the right to survive, and the capacity to fight to the death to defend our minds, hearts, and bodies, is precisely what abusers and oppressors will try to strip away from you. If there is ANY part of you that wouldn’t fight as hard for your own life as you would for the life of a helpless child or animal, you have been damaged, and probably bullied away from your own power: the last thing in the world any bully wants is for you to figure out that they are as frightened as you are, and just…