Real magic? Firedance tomorrow!

I was a little “down” last night. Knew I’d get through it: always do. Also know that there is not necessarily a relationship between anything happening at the moment, and my feelings. Why? Because I don’t necessarily react fully emotionally at a given moment. More likely, I’ll cram unpleasant emotions away, take whatever actions are possible to resolve the situation, and process the feels later.

So those feelings were assumed to relate to my life, but not NECESSARILY anything to do with something specific happening TODAY.

But I asked myself: what do I have to feel unhappy about? Life is wonderful. And this morning, waking up feeling terrific, I had a thought. A general feeling I have, position I have, is that accomplishing ANY goal teaches you unique things. Shapes you into being a unique version of yourself.

Leading me to say: “if you had what it took to do that goal, you’d already have it.”

This is a version of the “I don’t know how to do this…but I can learn.”

To the degree that this is true, you have to KILL your current ego-self to become the new you. You have to give up resentments, scars, attachments, negative associations, false self-image…you have to burn your NEGATIVE past to create your future. Of course, you also have to connect to the past in POSITIVE ways. Its tricky. And frightening. And painful.

My ego shell is disassembling. It was created to get me to this point in my life. All the bravado, “positive thinking”…