Resolving Dualities

In coaching, it seems that about 98% of ordinary human problems can be seen as imbalances of male/female or adult/child energies or the balance of love and fear. To see these dualities is critical to understanding many things, but to LIVE in them, to be incapable of seeing their artificiality is to be trapped by concepts and languaging, Here’s an example.

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I recently published a quote by an Incel criticizing a woman’s art, and stating that she should want to meet him, as he is a wonderful alpha male. Roundly mocked by most on my thread, one reader said the following:

“Somehow, as you say Steven, I think he is missing the fear his words produce. He is basically insisting that if she is a fertile adult, she’ll find him attractive…which I find to be a terrifying power-grab, to dictate those terms. My question then becomes if he is approaching women so bluntly on internet sites because in person he is consistently shunned? And what happens, as you say, when THAT doesn’t work?”

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I thought: what would I say if my daughter expressed this to me? If I was a woman with these concerns, what would I want someone to say to ME? And how does moving back and forth between resolving and examining dualities help here? The following are my thoughts:

Words have no power you don’t give them. ACTIONS have power, so if those words trigger or threaten actions, it might be reasonable, or predict the average person might feel discomfort by the implicit threat. Some…