“Steve, why can’t I find a girlfriend?”

Almost 35 years ago, a friend of mine named Otis was sitting sadly. I asked him what was wrong. “Why can’t I find a girlfriend?” He asked.

“Well,” I said, “what do you have to offer a woman?”

He thoughts for a moment and then said “well, I’m kind, I’m a good listener and a loyal friend.”

He was right. He had one of the largest, most loving hearts I’ve ever known. And he damned near LIVED in the “friend zone”, that place where one friend wants more intimacy than the other. Painful. We’ve all been there. He looked at me with real misery.

He was Involuntarily Celibate, with no idea how to get out of the maze. I thought for a moment, opened my mouth AND WHAT CAME OUT NEXT AMAZED ME.

And changed my life.

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What happens if you apply the Three Gates and the MAGIC Formula to sex?

Well…we applied it to relationships with the SOULMATE PROCESS, but realized that we need a more basic step, simply understanding how to approach the opposite sex. There are a LOT of guys unclear on this, how it works. Some are just starting out — teenagers or early 20’s. Others have various levels of shyness or neurodivergence, and literally don’t understand how the human pair bond operates. Others just come out of long-term relationships, and are just kinda rusty.

I’ve been in all three positions at various times in my life, so about the 1000th time I got asked to…