Stopping the “Yo Yo” effect…with love

There are few things sadder than people who can only motivate themselves to positive behaviors with pain.

Just a few days ago, a person who had made a massive change in their life had to admit they’d yo-yo’d back to their previous state. It was utterly predictable, and I actually cut off communication with them after tiring of fielding the lies they used to justify a seriously negative world view. They would act from emergency, and then when the emergency was over, like removing tension from a rubber band, they’d snap right back to their prior state, which was actually more aligned with their self-image, beliefs, and values.

It was painful to watch, just a matter of time. And because I cared, I protected myself by cutting communication. Didn’t completely help, though.

Proposition: pain and fear are short-term motivators only. A behavior motivated by them is self limiting: if it works, the pain and fear should diminish. Thereby decreasing your motivation to do the thing, leading to a decrease of action and discipline, leading to the yo-yo effect. THE YO-YO IS THEREFORE BUILT INTO ANY FEAR-BASED MOTIVATION FOR ACTION.

Diet, exercise, budgeting, self-help programs…NONE of them can survive this cycle, if the primary motivation is fear.

LOVE and JOY, self-actualization and contribution, on the other hand, can last for a lifetime. START by letting pain/fear motivate you, sure. But while allowing that to push you, look for ways for your hopes and…