The Cost Of Lying

BREATHE!

There is a scene in the movie “Ordinary People” that haunts me. In it, young Timothy Hutton rejects a breakfast angrily prepared by his mother, played wonderfully by Mary Tyler Moore. As their argument ends with her putting the breakfast in the sink, father Donald Southerland watches, quietly.

He, and the audience, understand something horrible: the mother hates the son. The son is deteriorating psychologically because of it. And as the father, he can save either his marriage OR his son…but not both.

The only question is: which way will he jump? When will he admit to himself the truth of his family’s damage, and his responsibility to act? In essence, the entire film is moving him from “Confronted to challenge” to “acceptance of the challenge”, virtually the entire 124 minute running time (from the father’s POV) being the “rejection of the challenge.”

An extraordinary film that can be viewed as an amazingly deep dive into fear, lies, and the transformative power of love…and clarity.

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Remember that regardless of the cost, ultimately there is nothing worth being dishonest about who you are. Any introspection that disempowers or places you below or above other human beings is an illusion. At every moment of your life, you’ve done the best you can with the resources you have.

In the movie “Ordinary People”, Donald Southerland spends the entire movie deciding he will react to that truth: his wife hates his son. No matter…