The Three Gates and Impeachment

Coming to the end of the “Three Gates Challenge” I had a realization of how the Gates (“Is it True? Is it Kind? Is it Useful?”) could help me in a tricky situation, but I need to back up into it.

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When my mother was dying of cancer, she lost her “filters” and often said horrible things. Terrible, shattering things…if you took her seriously. I didn’t. Her words meant no more to me than if she’d vomited on my shoes. It was nothing personal, just her fear, pain and confusion. Had I taken her words personally, OR IF SHE HAD HAD ANY POWER OVER ME I’d have had to avoid seeing her until I could take my power back.

My FIRST responsibility is to protect my life and heart. Only from that space of safety can I be compassionate. That is truth.

It is KIND for me to care for my mother, so it is USEFUL to be strong and centered so that I could handle her outbursts. Otherwise, I have to default to self-protection, the primary Truth, and would not be able to serve her.

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Last night I spoke with a “friend” named “Sharon” who has an old friend “Mary” who is emotionally unstable. Mary has, admittedly, suffered considerable loss, but she is volatile and verbally abusive, threatening and cursing. I’ve attempted to act as an intermediary, but Mary will not take responsibility for her actions and words. Apologies are half-hearted, and Mary rapidly devolves to the “its your fault for not accepting me the way I am” and “you made me say that.”