The “Three Gates” as Lie Detectors

Is it True? Is it Useful? Is it Kind?

Applying these three “Gates” can not only strengthen your character, but put you on a bedrock where you can leverage your strengths more fully.

For instance: if you prize honesty, you are more likely to be honest. And it will be easier to recognize others when they are dishonest.

People whose behaviors conflict with their statements ABOUT those behaviors are dishonest.

People who excuse dishonesty in others cannot be trusted to be honest.

People who admire people who have used dishonesty to gain their goals cannot be trusted to be honest.

Now, they will often attempt to confine their dishonesty to a particular arena, but that is a dangerous game to play. “Contextual dishonesty” would be: it is fair to lie, distort, omit critical information and so forth in situation X.

Ladies, if your man excuses his buddy cheating on his wife, would you trust him? Men, if you catch her COVERING for her friend’s infidelity, can you trust her?

You’d better think that through. What would their internal rules be?

“You can lie if it is for a friend.”

“You can lie if its only about sex”

“It isn’t a lie if you are just repeating something someone else said”

And so forth. PAY ATTENTION.