Turning Irritation to Inspiration
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” — Carl Jung
I’ve heard this in many different ways. Not dogmatic about it. But I DO know that if I ask myself what my irritation has to teach me…I calm.
If Jason scares me with some reaction I think will hurt him down the road, I ask if there is a matching weakness in myself. Something unhealed, and perhaps unseen.
There is ALWAYS more work to do, so this question ALWAYS leads to discoveries. In that way, I can use anything that irritates me or frightens me, by asking “what can I learn from this? Why am I afraid? How does this relate to my survival personally, genetically, or socially?”
If I can create greater security in that arena WITHIN MYSELF, my anger toward others dissolves. And then, if I have done this properly, I’ve just learned the lesson I need to lead my son to safety in that arena of his life.
That’s a real “no lose” approach. So every morning, before I even sit up to meditate, I’ll ask myself:
“How can I improve 1% today?” And look first at my physical. I would like to double my martial arts skill training. This isn’t a lot of time, but it does require careful choices. Today, that would be using Tai Chi during my 5MM breaks, maybe 20 moves each time.
Emotionally: What stopped me from being totally loving and open yesterday? I found something that had pissed me off, and realized I was ticked because I had not given my own skill and energy from sheer love and expression. There had been a “transactional” element. “I did X, so YOU need to do Y.” Ummm…not really. People, especially other adults, have the right to control their own behaviors, and experience their own responses. The problem was my unvoiced expectations.
So…I needed to have taken actions from a deeper place inside me, such that the actions THEMSELVES were the reward. That’s the “C” in the MAGIC formula: you constantly work to align your internal states with your daily actions, and those daily actions with your long-term goals. You do what you do because that’s who you are, and leave the results for the Universe to decide.
IF you are in alignment with nature, you will be rewarded, like a healthy cell giving and receiving life flow within the body human. So my obstacle becomes my offering: I can grow 1% by becoming the person who could have done the positive things without expectation. This demands engagement of the Survival drive/instincts, so that your gifts of time and energy are NEVER draining you. Most of the time, you give your best to the people closest to you, who you have chosen partially for their capacity and tendency to reciprocate. And…you understand that they cannot always be at THEIR best, because…(wait for it)…they’re like you. You ain’t perfect. The sobering reality is that water seeks its own level in that sense.
Mentally? How do I improve 1%? Let me get Project Niven ready to go, put work into the MAGIC book, and strategize about this next workshop, CREATING UNFORGETTABLE CHARACTERS (www.writerwebinar.com)
I go through this by looking at belly brain, heart center, head center. I turn the situations over in my mind until I can see a way to improve in each. Then I sit, and bring light up from the core to my heart and then head. IN THIS ORDER.
Then I do joint mobility, get out of bed, do a sun salutation, and do my FIREDANCE tai chi.
The initial “how can I improve 1%” portion can take as little as 30 seconds, and never takes more than 5 minutes. And is a critical practice if I want to maintain forward growth while simultaneously maintaining a sense of inner peace. “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal.”
My goal is to be a magician. I see no reason to settle for less.
Namaste
Steve