Two Simple Tools To a Simple, Joyful Life

I will talk about anything, with anyone, if they are polite. There is one discussion I won’t have PUBLICLY with certain types of people, but that’s another question.

Rudeness suggests that the person has lost emotional balance, and are attacking. Attacks are defenses. Anger is fear. I see nothing positive coming out of such interactions, so people who have become rude are invited to apologize or remove themselves from the discussion. If they cannot, then I know, right at that moment, that the conversation is “Useless.” The indicator is that they are “unkind.” Often because they believe me to be wrong (certainly possible) but they either

1. Consider their position so self-evident that I HAVE to actually agree with them, and are therefore lying. Is that because THEY lie under such circumstances? Yes? No? Or is it that they themselves would not, but consider themselves better than me? Yes? No? While there ARE other answers, I’ve found that if they cannot be courteous, they are too emotional to have fine discernment of such things. The conversation is not “what is true?” but rather “how can I beat the shit out of you?” If it isn’t a search for truth, automatically it is useless, and in most cases edges into “unkind.”
2. They don’t REALLY have that certainty. They are insecure, frightened people who NEED you to support their position or self-image. If you won’t change your position to align with theirs, it triggers fear: what if they are wrong? An entire scaffolding that keeps pain at bay can…