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We Contain Multitudes
“Life is not what it is supposed to be. It’s what it is. The way that you cope with it is what makes the difference”. — Virginia Satir.
If you want to see how people trap themselves in descending negative spirals, simply look in the “Three Circles”: Belly Brain, Heart Center, Head Center. Remember how they relate to our means of controlling emotions:
- How we use our bodies (Belly Brain)
- What we focus on that triggers either Love or Fear (Heart Center)
- The language we use to describe our experience (Head Center)
Whenever I see people saying they are stressed out, can’t handle life, are retreating from interaction, it is highly likely that if you look at the way they describe experience, they are lying to themselves.
They will say absolutes like “always” “everyone” “never” and so forth. They will make global statements (specific or implied): “All X are Y” or its kid sister “X are Y.”
Saying “Vegetarians are fanatics” is the “kid sister” of “All vegetarians are fanatics.” It is half-way to the truth: “SOME vegetarians are fanatics.” Or the truth of your own emotional reaction/evaluation: “TOO MANY vegetarians are fanatics.”
“And I find that irritating.” All right.
“Therefore I don’t want to be around vegetarians.” That’s straight forward.
But if you say “Vegetarians ARE…” there is a sense that “all” is lurking in there. Questioned, they might say…