What Mom Did For Me

Day 7 of the 90-Day Love Feast

The biggest change is my focus on changing MYSELF, so that I can trust myself to survive, thrive, no matter what. That allows me to release any “survival” concern about what Tananarive might or might not do. I’ll be fine. This has had a cascade event: she can feel the increased love from me (we were already doing great, 80%+ of the time.)

This connects to self-love, and I”ve put a lot of thought into how I developed it. EVERYONE is loved as a baby (or you die). But that can go very sour as you get older, and while my situation with Mom was obviously better than many, there were still abusive issues within and outside the home.

So…how did I do it? The one thing that really stands out to me is that she endlessly, irritatingly, OBNOXIOUSLY played “self improvement” books at home. Records of the books or articles, mostly synopsized. I can remember books like:

THINK AND GROW RICH

PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS

HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE

THE STRANGEST SECRET

THE GOLDEN KEY

A MESSAGE TO GARCIA

And so on. And on. Every day. Wow. I HATED that stuff. And I stopped to wonder why. Why, exactly, would I object to hearing about how I can create the life I desire?

Fear. I’m pretty sure it was fear. I DIDN’T believe in myself. Stop telling me I can create my life! I’ll be lucky just to scratch out an…