When “Winning” is Losing in Love

Day 24 of the Love Feast

I lost focus right around Comic Con, just a little. But re-centered myself. The biggest issue was feeling I was correct about a certain subject that triggered a negative response. I had to look at that…and the Three Gates were critical.

My perception was TRUE (I believe). But as it was a source of discomfort, it was plausibly not KIND to hammer at it. In fact the term “hammer” suggests a lack of delicacy, doesn’t it?

So…was it USEFUL? What was the intent? Let’s look at it through the lens of HOW<WHAT<WHY.

The WHAT is a ninety-day period in which I place Tananarive above me. Her happiness and welfare is more important than my own. I have sword to accept her as she is, in all ways.

The WHY is to bring all our lives to a higher level, to transform myself. The road to this is looking at any challenge and raising my own game so that I can cope with it. That, btw, creates the room for HER to transform if that is appropriate. Not the point.

So…lets say there is something I feel it is valuable to deal with, that cannot be approached directly. It would seem the best thing is for me to ask: can I handle this? Does it HAVE to be done a particular way? No, it doesn’t. To operate in alignment with the Three Gates, I need to be sensitive and flexible. The “Persuasion Framework” starts with RAPPORT, respect, alignment, empathy. Even if I am “right” about something, if forcing the issue creates stress and tension, has…