Whose Rules Should You Play By?

###

I recently re-connected with an old friend, who loves to argue politics. I have no problem with that, but after several contentious back-and-forths via email, I noticed some patterns I wasn’t happy with and went into “alert” mode. One warning sign was that he seemed reluctant to admit when he was wrong. Another was that we apparently defined some basic terms differently. I clearly marked out my definition and its test and implications. And said that our conversation could not progress unless he clearly defined his. He seemed to avoid it, but then a day later cut-and-pasted a list of definitions from the Miriam-Webster’s dictionary, saying his was the third. That seemed a little stilted, but o.k.

Fine. But then he made a mistake, and claimed that he “didn’t use the word X” as an explanation for why he hesitated to define it. The problem is that earlier in the day, he had used it freely. I can only think that he’s used to intimidating people: he is very smart and very “alpha.” I responded with a chuckle and the following:

Do you see the problem here? Remember the “Three Gates”? The first is “Is it True?” You say you don’t use a word, then you use the word four times in a single paragraph…

Let me try you with another set of definitions: philosophy and politics. From a certain perspective, philosophy is the search for “what is true?” Politics is an answer to the question: “How can we win?” with persuasion being a part of that. As you just contradicted yourself rather clearly, the…