“You Shall Not Pass!”

One of the questions its fun to ask is: if you could send a “message in a bottle back through time to your younger self, what would you say?” Sometimes that is limited by “in twenty words or less” or the like.

What if we limited that again: we’re not talking about stock or betting tips. We’re talking about relationships.

1. What have you learned about intimate relationships now that you didn’t understand when you were twenty?
2. What have you learned about business relationships that you didn’t understand when you were twenty?
3. What have you learned about casual conversations and “debates” or arguments that you didn’t understand when you were twenty?

Some general principles, assuming that you love yourself and hold yourself precious, might be:

1. Monitor your feelings. If you feel WORSE after dealing with someone, pay attention. Focus on the people and situations that help you move away from pain toward pleasure, and grow.
2. Honesty is important. Note whether they are honest with you, and themselves. Are their behaviors consistent with their commitments? Are their words consistent with your observations of their character? People can be good people, but deluded about themselves. Delusion rarely confines itself to a single arena of their lives. It spreads like yeast in bread dough.
3. Do you see the same reality? What would they have to believe true to speak and act as they do? How would they have to define…